?Aries: You're determined to receive the most cards, candy and flowers. Who says sending roses to yourself doesn't count?
白羊座：期望收到很多卡片、甜点和鲜花。谁说给自己送花不算数？
?Taurus: A bouquet of dandelions, dime store chocolates and dinner at a fast food restaurant? Relax, it was just a bad dream!
金牛座：难道仅仅是一束蒲公英，廉价巧克力或者快餐店的一顿晚餐吗？放松点，这只不过是个恶梦。
?Gemini: You make two dates for the night -- and then backup plans with your friends in case you decide to flake on your original plans.
双子座：你为今晚准备了两个约会，这样万一原定约会泡汤了还可以和朋友一起。
?Cancer: Ooh, there's nothing like candy heart art and lace doilies to get you going! Martha Stewart's got nothing on you.
巨蟹座：没有什么能像心形点心和系着绸带的礼物那样吸引你。但是大款可没准备送给你礼物。
?Leo: You are displeased by the single red rose some admirer left on your windshield. Clearly you are worth at least a dozen!
狮子座：有人悄悄送了一支玫瑰，这让你很是恼火，因为至少该送一打玫瑰啊！
?Virgo: You refuse to share the box of chocolates you receive -- what if someone fingers them?  What if someone sneezes on your roses?
处女座：拒绝跟别人分享你收到的巧克力。有人拿手指拨弄怎么办？有人对着你的玫瑰打了个喷嚏怎么办？
?Libra: You send valentines to everyone you know: your hairdresser, your fourth grade teacher, your manicurist, your manicurist's cousin … You don't want anyone to feel left out.
天秤座：你给认识的每个人都送去情人节的祝福：你的理发师、你四年级的老师、你的美甲师、美甲师的表弟……你不想让任何人被遗忘。
?Scorpio: Why go out for a fancy dinner when you already have dessert waiting at home?  Who knew that a Cupid costume could be so sexy?
天蝎座：与其在家坐等餐后甜点不如出去享受一次奇特的美味。谁能想到丘比特的衣服会如此性感呢？
?Sagittarius: You can't commit to sending a card -- what if the recipient reads too much into it? You fake temporary amnesia to avoid acknowledging the holiday.
射手座：不想赠送卡片——万一收卡人误解了你的意思怎么办？为了避免这个误会只好假装忘记了这个节日。
?Capricorn: Lacy hearts and syrupy sentiments make you sneeze -- besides, nothing says love like a new electronic organizer!
摩羯座：带花边的心形食品和甜甜的味道让你禁不住打喷嚏——毕竟，谁都不会说爱情像一个新的电子记事本。
?Aquarius: Manufactured holidays aren't your cup of decaffeinated herbal tea, but consuming a few vegan chocolates doesn't make you a conformist, does it?
水瓶座：这种人人都过的俗节似乎不太适合你的品位，但是稍稍随俗一下，也没什么。
?Pisces: You live for this stuff! The world would be such a better place if we could all just hold hands and share heart-shaped cookies every day.
双鱼座：似乎你天生就为了过这个节日。如果每天都能分享心形甜点多好啊。

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